Come As You Are
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to show up authentically when things around us feel like they are falling apart. If you’re here reading this or you’ve come into my space, likely you are feeling the same way. I’ve had conversations with nearly all of my clients about how ICE and the current administration is affecting our daily lives. For some, it’s more personal than you might think; whose skin color makes them and their loved ones a target.
When I was a swim coach and my world was crumbling I put on a mask to go to work every day. “Leave your problems at the door”, a common statement from coaches, teachers, co-workers, bosses, etc. So we put on a mask at the door and pretend that we are ok. The problem is eventually the mask will crack and people will see through it. I’ll never forget a parent asking me one day on deck how I was. I replied with the usual polite, “I’m good”. Then she asked me a second time, “I mean how are you?”. She could see through the mask and I suddenly felt very vulnerable, found out. Not too long after that interaction I quit my job in an effort to repair my mental health.
I internally vowed to stop hiding. No more crying alone in the car, no more pretending that I was not feeling impacted by world events or personal issues at home. It was time to show up authentically. That’s why my business’ motto is “come as you are” , because I want a space where I can come as I am too. The conversations I get to have with my clients are real ones. Yeah, sure we still talk about the weather and what we’re doing over the weekend, but there’s meaningful conversation, needed conversation. I’ve talked about everything from marital problems to politics to trans women playing in sports. I’ve had polite disagreements, given hugs when tears were streaming and given a medicine ball to slam for those who are angry.
Emotions are human nature, they are a part of us and I don’t believe that any part of us should be denied. The more we’re told to put on a mask the more likely it will crack and usually the fallout is worse than if we’d never used the mask in the first place. The expectation that we can leave things for later as if what is happening in the moment plays no role in who we are in that moment is absurd. It is possible to be hurting or scared AND professional or personable at the same time. How do I know this? Because that’s how I show up every day and people still come to see me. If I’m having a rough day and you ask me how I am, I’m going to tell you how I really am and then I’m going to move on to your workout. That’s life - sometimes miserable, sometimes amazing but we still do the laundry, go to work, care for our families, show up for ourselves because we have to. And it’s a hell of a lot easier to do all that if we don’t have to act like everything is peachy keen.
So here’s a reminder, in case you needed it, that at Blue Room you can expect authenticity and you can come as you are, tears, laughter, hardship and all.
