Oof…it’s been a minute! I genuinely enjoy writing these silly blog entries but alas, at the end of the day (week, month, etc.) they are my lowest business priority. Especially these days as I navigate being pregnant for the first time. So, let’s talk about that; what it’s like to be pregnant, working full time, navigating home life and exercising!
Real talk, I have struggled with my fitness ever since I found out I was pregnant. As a beginner powerlifter, I was just getting into lifting my heaviest and feeling my strongest, only to feel chopped down to a stump in my first trimester. Nausea, exhaustion, food aversions and mood swings had me only wanting to sleep. My workouts were starting to feel impossible to get to and it wasn’t because my schedule suddenly changed or I didn’t like the exercises being provided. It was clear to me during those early weeks that exercise was going to be more of a mental game for me in the coming months than a physical one, despite all the physical changes my body was making.
Fortunately, I’ve known for some time that society, health care professionals, family and even well meaning friends have it all wrong and women “in my condition” can and should continue to exercise, including heavy lifting! On the days when I could muster myself together for a workout, I went in thinking “this is going to be total sh!t” and almost always came out feeling better and glad that I pushed through it. Of course, there were days that I grumpily surrendered to the idea that the workout would be best and other days that I went in and came out 20 minutes later because my body said NO. I distinctly remember throwing a tantrum one day about how I should just skip my week of workouts because I hadn’t done the first, so why do the second?! This ended with a good cry and then I got up and went to the gym. This is when I knew I needed an accountability partner, not just my trainer, but a gym buddy that I could schedule just like my clients. Fortunately, one of my former clients was up for the task and we’ve been working out together ever since!
Thank god pregnancy goes through trimesters, because I couldn’t wait to get out of the first and into the second where they say that you get your energy back! While that did eventually happen for me, it took several weeks of my second trimester to feel “normal”. And even then, normal was one day and the next was a crap shoot. I continued to powerlift all through my second trimester, excited to compete at an upcoming event in December. At some point I realized that I probably wouldn’t be up for spending a day in a gym with uncomfortable seating arrangements for an eight month pregnant person. I was already uncomfortable in my expanding body, wasn’t sure about fitting into my usual onesie for competition and spending too much money getting ready for the baby, so competition was out. Oh and by the way, my core was GONE. Forget all the other stuff, I no longer had a good connection to brace my core properly for a heavy lift.
I am now a few weeks into my third trimester and exercise is only looking marginally different for me. Instead of focusing on powerlifting events - bench press, back squat, and deadlift - my workouts have changed to exercises that my body can still do with proper technique so I don’t hurt myself. This doesn’t mean I’ve dropped the weights and just started walking. I’m still lifting because guess what, Imma have to hold a baby for hours a day, squat the day after (hopefully) pushing a baby out of me and walking up and down stairs with extra weight. Even while lifting heavy in my first trimester, holding my newborn nephew for 20 minutes was hard! And look, when your body goes through major physical changes, things ache. For most pregnant people, that is felt most strongly in their pelvic area with shooting pain, looser ligaments and muscles, an aching lower back and SI joint pain not to mention lightning crotch (look it up lol). You know that saying, “movement is medicine”; well in this case, it’s 100% true. I can’t take ibuprofen, tylenol doesn’t work on inflammation and a hot pad can only be used for so long. Insert all the ways I know how to effectively relieve pain through movement. That being said, there are plenty of days that I’m in pain and still don’t manage it with movement.
Jeez, I’m really making this whole pregnancy thing seem like a lot of fun, right? Well, the reason I’m sharing all of this is because as a trainer I’ve been feeling like I failed. Failed to exercise “enough”, failed to be grateful that I can still move my body even if it doesn’t always feel good, failed to continue to move with my clients like I thought I should. To be clear, no one has made me feel this way but myself…and ok…the algorithm. Like anything else, Insta got to me and I’ve seen more pregnant women lifting than I ever have. And not just doing incredible things while pregnant, but popping out a baby (in some cases their third!) and getting back into the gym 36 hours later. As a fitness professional, I’ve always had some imposter feelings because unlike many of my colleagues, I do not live in my gym. I still only do a full workout twice a week, now with pelvic PT and prenatal yoga sprinkled in. And quite frankly, I don’t want to, even if I feel like I should be more of gym rat to fit in. But as I was telling a client earlier today, I’ve never quite fit in. I’ve always been on the fringes, so why at (nearly) 40 years old should I start to fit in now?
Funny really because I preach daily about the societal harms around fitness; unrealistic expectations about what bodies should look like and focused on aesthetics instead of how we feel. But I’m still vulnerable to the same thoughts as the people that seek me out. I know better and I still have these thoughts. I have access to health care to help me navigate these feelings and I still have these thoughts. So why am I still worried about not doing enough, being enough, wanting it enough? Well, I guess I’m still just human, going through a new phase in my life that a year ago I didn’t think was going to happen. I guess I’m not infallible and I still let the outside world creep into my brain. I still need the reminders, the assurances that I am doing just fine and if I don’t hit the gym just days after giving birth that for the first time I might just be…normal.
I want to end with some things that I’ve learned through this pregnancy that can be applied to anyone. So read on if you’re interested!
Some days your body is going to tell you that it can’t do hard things. This might be a lie and it might not. The best way to know for sure is to try the hard thing.
Going through major, or even in some cases minor, physical changes literally changes how you move. I tell people every day that there isn’t a wrong way to move, but adjustments might need to be made.
If you’re intentionally exercising at all, you are likely doing more than the general population. Most adults still don’t intentionally exercise, so you can already consider yourself ahead of the curve.
It is ok to be good at something and suddenly not be able to do it.
It is ok to be good at something and suddenly not want to do it!
Being vulnerable with another person might be just what you need to get back to movement
and lastly, it is normal to have emotions and feelings tied into exercise because no one is immune to having doubts, feeling like they could do more, wishing they were as strong as so and so or feeling silly/scared when trying something for the first time.
